The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

if you know me in person i look happy and all good, but, on the inside, i am far from happy, im torn and tortured, im confused and lost, used and abused, i want to find my wrist bands again and take it out of me but so many say not to but i feel like i should. i feel as if i was younger again, id stopped for so long but things just arent the way i pretend they are i wear a mask to hide the pain and doubt, i pretend im happy everyday for idk how long, i just dont know anymore i am tired my life seems to be at a stand still and i cant do anything till my schooling is done and my schooling seems like its at a collage level now high school...

There's this guy i have grown rather fond of (always been fond of since the first day.. well night i laid eyes on him) he's always been there for me and he knows that, he knows how i feel, he's always known how I've felt and we're forbidden lovers so to say lol... but i really care for him ... actually im totally inlove with him... he knows that, not 100% sure how he feels, i just have a hope maybe he'll get on and read this *hides in corner*

i have so much fun around him, he makes me smile and laugh when im usually never doing either ... ever... till he came back into my life again... I'd think of him everyday still even when i was told not to talk to him, he always new what was best for me and how to care for me, he'd show me love when no one else did. i have no idea how to explain him in one word he's just that amazing to me. he's touched my heart the way only one other person has,(rip joe), i love the way he hugs me! hes sooo talll compared to me. i just wanted to do something with the thoughts in my head and here seemed like the best place for it.